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One day I was in a shopping mall and happened to overhear this conversation from a table near me. There was a dad with his son, about 13 years old. The son did respond, I think, but I could not hear what he said. It’s the dad’s questions that struck me:

Dad — Is there something you want to do?

Dad — If you don’t, you’ll be on your screen all day.

Dad — What about going to a friend’s house?

Dad — Why don’t you invite him over one day?

Dad — What are you going to do when you get home?

We all know these questions are not unique; I bet they have been played out thousands of times these school holidays. If that is true, it’s a crisis waiting to happen. The blue touch payer is already alight!

Am I giving voice to what parents already know? Yes, but my purpose is not to paint the obvious. No, I want to open some windows and explore some possible circuit breakers.

How the teenagers acted that afternoon in the shopping mall

These scenarios stood out to me:

Siblings with one parent, some shopping being done but not much, Lego was the most common purchase – they must be doing well these holidays!

Groups of teenagers, mostly single-sex and homogenous ethnicity, buying nothing obvious, simply hanging out with friends.

Teenaged girls in small groups, walking around in very skimpy tops even on a cold and wet day. It looked to me as if they were seeking attention and acceptance, rather than demonstrating their resilience to the cold.

One group of boys in a supermarket, not buying much, that I could see, but they were very loud and raucous. The public were visibly irritated, but saying and doing nothing about it.

Circuit breaker #1

Wean yourself off making decisions for your children, but be there to catch them (sometimes) when they make mistakes. This needs to happen before the teen years and has to be intentional and systematic.

The hardest thing might be to watch them flounder when they can’t make a decision themselves; let them problem-solve.

Circuit breaker #2

Again, before they are teens, ensure the young develop hobbies linked to increased personal responsibility. The carrot here is that without personal responsibility, there are sanctions that really bite, and that must never be the confiscation of their iPad.

Circuit breaker #3

Computer games are simply time-fillers, adrenaline manufacturers and addictive, especially for the young. I think they are a major contributor to the zombie generation we are raising. If your young are in this space, they need to stop.

Circuit breaker #4

Feed the creative. Examine the early life of creatives you admire. I think the seedbed was prepared by their parents and their family. Your children most likely will not follow your particular creative genes — they will be different, so be careful not to over-steer or control.

These are just a handful of ideas to get us thinking and talking about the issue. I would go so far as to say that any screen time for the young, that is, pre-adulthood, is comparable to opioid addiction. Don’t be hung up on ADHD drugs — I think screen addiction is far, far worse.

The boy and his printing press

Rounding off this reflection on today’s youth, is a story of a boy I knew at school in the early years of my teaching career. It was a boarding school, and at the time, it was just boys. It was the 1970s and ’80s, so the environment was extremely different from ours today, but I think we can still take inspiration from this story.

Let’s call his name John. He was an energetic boy, shorter than most for his age. Not a sportsman at all, as he tried to get out of as many sports as possible! He had a very sharp wit and could be relied upon to liven up my lessons if they were getting a little dull. He was good at getting me off topic by his well thought-out, but cheeky line of questioning.

His father, in the printing business, had an old printing press. It was a Heidelberg platen press that he could no longer use, so John asked if he could have it delivered to school.

A whole room was set aside for it. John worked on his printing press in any free time he had. He stripped it down, put it back together and began to print!

He began by asking the teachers for any printing jobs they might have. There was no internet in those days, and the school printing needs were costly and naturally had to be done off-site. John cornered the market and undercut his commercial competitors.

Over the years, he invested his profits and added new machines as he began to keep up with developing printing technology. He also supervised younger students who wanted to learn his trade. What started as a hobby at school became his life’s work, as there was a seamless transition from school to work. From memory, he never worked for anyone, other than himself!

I don’t believe he would ever have said he was bored during his school holidays — there was simply more time to make money!

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Image courtesy of Adobe.