Chalmers and Pratt

Chalmers Announces His Ministry of Happiness

14 July 2023

3.8 MINS

You just know things are bad when they start shifting the goalposts.

What do you do when you’re losing the match?

Well, if you’re the Albanese government — presiding over runaway inflation and rising interest rates — you move the goalposts.

You start boasting about your “50 indicators of community wellbeing”, all the while hoping no-one remembers little things like gross domestic product, wages or employment.

This paragraph, from a report in The Australian, should make every Australian extremely worried:

In a speech on Tuesday evening to welfare-sector leaders and progressive activists, the Treasurer revealed the Albanese government would soon track 50 indicators of community wellbeing to measure progress beyond gross domestic product, income and employment, “traditional economic metrics” the May budget had forecast would record only meagre growth in coming years.

Indicators of community wellbeing?

Translation: Ladies and Gentlemen, the country is about to suck big time. So we’ve made up some measures to distract you. It’s not exactly ”you will own nothing and be happy”, but it’s close. Enjoy.

Treasurer Jim Chalmers could have come up with five indicators of community wellbeing. That he came up with 50 tells you just how bad Grim Jim expects things to get.

I look forward to the government boasting about our wellbeing as wages fall, prices rise and businesses close.

“You lost your job? Well, okay, but have you smelt the wellbeing?”

How many times does the electorate need to get hoodwinked before its realises Labor cannot manage money?

Broken Promises

They came to power just a year ago on a wave of popular support, promising to cut power bills and lower prices generally.

But everything they touch turns to poo.

The availability of a cheap, reliable and constant power supply is essential to the success of any modern society.

So what has Team Albo done?

They have committed the entire nation to all but total reliance on the most expensive, unreliable and weather-dependent form of electricity ever conceived.

This one policy fart alone will destroy our prosperity.

Oh but don’t worry, the government now has wellbeing measures.

“Sure you can’t pay your rent, you can’t barely afford groceries and you’re using candles to save on electricity bills, but our community wellbeing indicators say you’ve never been happier!”

Self-Inflicted

I just love the way the government create a cost of living crisis with their hare-brained renewables fetish and then dole out huge amounts of money in a bid to solve the cost of living crisis.

Every Year 10 economics student knows full well that you can’t spend your way out of inflation. So the cost of living crisis funds handed out by hapless Chalmers in response to the cost of living crisis his government created only serve to worsen the cost of living crisis.

Clueless!

The worst part of all of this is that all of this is entirely self-inflicted. And the people now in strife are common people unable to pay the exorbitant cost of renewable energy. If we had only held on to our cheap energy

The government will keep spending other people’s money, because it knows no other way. Socialists only have one move, and they’ll make that same move over and over, despite the fact that one move has never succeeded.

Hence the announcement of 50 indicators of community wellbeing. The goals have been moved to accommodate the only play the government knows.

The mining boom has supplied the government with a $20 billion surplus that buys Grim Jim a little more time, but even as Chalmers boasts about the surplus, the surplus itself screams back at him, “INCOMPETENT FOOL!”

The surplus came courtesy of an industry the Albanese Government is intent on destroying.

And while the surplus is mostly due to finances that existed prior to this government’s term, the surplus is about the only thing Chalmers doesn’t attribute to the previous government.

Quagmire

Ask anyone on the street and they’ll tell you how frustrated they are about constant supermarket price rises, expensive fuel, burgeoning power bills, the housing shortage and rising interest rates.

But the government pays only lip service to any of that.

Black-Out Bowen is too busy bragging that renewable energy is the cheapest form of energy ever invented, to realise no-one can pay their energy bills.

AirBus Albo is too busy pontificating about an Indigenous Voice to Parliament to hear the voice of small business groaning under the weight of rising costs.

Tanya Plibersek is carried away insisting that, because power prices went up by 25 per cent instead of 40 per cent, the government has honoured its promise to bring prices down.

Industrial Relations Minister Tony Burke is frantically pursuing impossible wage rises and ridiculous union claims.

Indigenous Affairs Minister Anne Aly is rambling like a cross between Nancy Pelosi and and homeless man drunk on turps about how the Voice will be completely independent, as it focuses on exactly what she says it will focus on.

Attorney General Mark Dreyfus is plotting to screw over Christian schools

And Communications Minister Michelle Rowland is re-reading George Orwell’s 1984 — this time as an instruction manual — as she seeks to impose restrictions on what Australians can and cannot say on social media.

Ah yes, the government is very concerned about misinformation and disinformation.

Little wonder.

Increasingly the entire country is pissed off with them. God only knows what we might post on Facebook or Twitter, but it will not be complimentary.

Albanese’s terrible team could do a U-turn of course. But no. Instead they will forge on ahead toward the abyss, renaming the abyss “50 Community Wellbeing Indicators”, and pretending 50 Community Wellbeing Indicators was the goal all along.

Chalmers’ new Ministry of Happiness will sit right alongside Rowland’s Ministry of Truth as the entire nation free-falls into the Misery of Recession.

Dear God, please let this be a one-term government.

___

Originally published at The James Macpherson Report.
Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.
Photo: T. Kayne/Wikimedia Commons

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2 Comments

  1. Kaylene Emery 14 July 2023 at 8:59 am - Reply

    Amen !

  2. Christine Crawford 14 July 2023 at 11:01 am - Reply

    Bread and circuses! Premier Dan’s doing it to great effect in Victoria. Wake up Victoria!

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