My Depression Is Not Contagious

17 November 2021

2.4 MINS

A heartfelt poem about the struggle of depression and the small but significant ways that others can help.

My depression is not contagious. So don’t be afraid of being around. I know it seems like I don’t want to be around you but I really do want you to be around me. Please don’t leave. I’m not infectious. But you are…

My depression is not contagious. It won’t suck the life out of you, the black hole in me won’t drag you in too, in fact the light in you will dissipate the darkness in me, eventually, so please keep hanging out with me. I’ll be free soon. I promise. I want to be. My depression doesn’t though…


It’s not contagious, and though it may seem like I just got out of the wrong side of bed to me it feels like I’ve come out on the wrong side of life. No matter how much I sleep I never rest. There’s no light, the stars don’t come out, the sun could never be bright enough, no amount of chocolate or fresh air or music or Netflix could move this mountain-sized weight that’s around my neck that drags me down most days…

So don’t judge me straight up. It’s not an easy thing trying to get back control of a car that you’re sitting in the back seat in, it’s almost but definitely feels a trap that I didn’t choose to get stuck in. I need you to stay. Escape rooms are hard when you’re the only person in it. If you are nearby then at least there’s more of a chance. If someone who can get out of the mud can come and sit in it with me again and not try and pull me out, just please show me that I’m not alone…

Because the one thing that might make a little difference is you. Maybe anti-depressants would too but it won’t cure me like connection could, maybe just maybe patience and connection is the cure…

I wouldn’t know. I’m the only one in my world. Well, me and my depression. But it’s not contagious I swear. So please come in. I want a bigger world. You won’t burst into tears if I look at you. You won’t lose your appetite by eating with me and I don’t think your sleep will get affected by my breath. Prolonged exposure to me won’t cause suicide…

Underneath all of this sadness, covered up by frowns, masked by a mask of nothingness really is a smile. And I do smile. It’s still learning how to be seen. It’s quite shy, it gets nervous around two things mainly. People or everything. Because not showing anything feels so much safer than feeling…

I can’t exactly see a way out yet but I’m holding on to a thinning rope that there is in a fact something beyond this darkness. It just doesn’t look like I can get there alone. So please, please don’t leave me here alone…

The biggest thing that I want you to know is to know that this is not me. This is depression. And it has taken a while to set myself apart from it because for so long I could not differentiate myself from it but now I know that this is not me. It is not even MY depression anymore. It is not me. I have loved and will love again. So please, please, please…

Don’t leave me.

Image by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash.

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  1. Leonie Robson 26 November 2021 at 6:06 pm - Reply

    Amen. Compassionate care and love is key.
    I too, know. X

  2. lynette Goodrich 26 November 2021 at 6:53 pm - Reply

    I want to thank you so much for having such an understanding of depression and sharing it, so others can start to understand, what is really happening deep down inside a person who is going through depression.

    I have sufferered depression in the past, when my marriage ended from domestic violence, leaving me alone with 4 little children, the youngest still being breast fed.

    It was one of the most frightening times of my life for me and also for my precious children too.

    My parents did not know what to do with me, as had never been confronted with depression before and had no idea of what to do about it. It was incredibly stressful for my parents & family.

    The first two doctors I saw told me to simply get my act together and snap out if it, as I had 4 children to look after… of those doctors was a Christian, who was Spirit filled & was my family doctor for years!

    Then God placed me in the care of such a wonderful new caring man called Doctor Peter, who had previously experienced depression, when his wife left the marriage with his four children and he ended up in hospital as the shock was too much.

    Dr Peter understood the feelings of hopelessness & no joy whatsoever and the panic attacks I also started to experience.

    In the end though…
    it was Jesus who healed me!
    Hallelujah!???? Praise the Lord!????

    I am so thankful to God,
    that He has been able to use my depression I experienced…
    to enable me to help many others with depression,
    in ways I would never have been able to help them in the past, unless I had experienced depression myself.

    I am so glad you highlighted one of the most important things in depression…
    is not to be left alone!

    Also to let peopke know you are suffereing depression, is important.
    I didn’t want anyone to know initially as I felt ashamed & was concerned what people would think!
    I felt as a mother I should have been able to cope without getting depression and I was a failure.

    That was just satan working over time!

    I have since been to Bible College & befire covad, have been doing mussion yrips yo 3rd world countries.

    All my children grew up & are leading good lives.
    I have 3 grandchildren.

    The most important thing in my life….
    is to have the best possible intimate relationship I can ever have with God, with every breath I take….
    & to help others to experience God’s incredible love???? He has for them too!

    I have such an appreciation for every single day of my life now.
    I have never experienced so much love & joy & peace in Jesus, as I do now.

    ???? A Blessing

    Our dearest Heavenly Father,
    We thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts❤, for the love you are continually pouring into us, with every breath we take.

    Thank you for placing on dear Timothy’s heart????, to write and make people aware of depression, so they can understand more fully and know how to reach out and make a difference to those who are suffering this disabling and heart???? breaking condition.

    Precious Holy Spirit, I pray????right now,
    that many people in Your world???? will be able to access and read what Timithy has written????here about depression and it will radically change their lives for the better.

    I pray???? You will touch these people with your overflowing LOVE, JOY & PEACE, in ways they have never experieneced before in their lives, just like you did and are continuing to do for me every single day.

    I confess & decree in Jesus Name,
    1 Peter 2:24…
    that by Your stripes & wounds that you endued on that cross 2,000 years ago precious Jesus,
    that they are all totally healed 100 % from all sickness…physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually.Amen & Amen!

    I pray ????
    that You dear Lord will bless Timothy & all his loved ones…abundantly in all they do .
    Protect them completely Jesus in this season of covad & I plead the Blood of You Jesus over them right now.
    I pray…
    their lives come into Divine Alignment with the very Plans you have for their lives Father,
    which You tell them in Jeremiah 29: 11..
    You have Plans to PRISPER them & not harm them,
    Plans to give them HOPE & a wonderful FUTURE, with Your PEACE. AMEN

    God Bless you Timothy in the wonderful work you are doing. Lynette Goodrich

  3. Maria Mears 2 December 2021 at 11:18 am - Reply

    Thank you Tim for your heart and your poem, may it help and bless many many people ❣️❤️
    May they find Jesus and be healed and restored to perfect health in Jesus mighty name 🙌❤️

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