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by Larry Stockstill

I can’t think of anything more important than your best friends.

These are friends who have gone beyond casual acquaintance. You have been through tough times with them. You have disclosed your heart and true feelings to them. You think of them often and communicate regularly with them.

I have learned that Satan tries to destroy those “anchor relationships.” They hold you steady in your hard times. They reveal who you are because of their character.

Job’s three “friends” didn’t work out so great in his hour of greatest trial.

Remember these four things in dealing carefully with your best friends:

1. Don’t assume anything about them.

When we have a close friend, we tend to take for granted their needs and wants.  We figure they know everything we are going through and expect them to comfort us.

Don’t assume anything.  Friendships take constant communication and clarity.  A careless word, a slighted invitation, or a long period of silence can all be wrongly taken.

Keep the lines open. Be sure they can express to you if you hurt them or they feel your relationship has somehow changed. Guard that relationship with all diligence.

2.  Don’t constantly correct them.

Nothing makes a friend feel uncomfortable around you more than you taking the liberty to always “coach” them about their choices and their life.

You are their friend, not their coach.  The same holds true, of course, with your spouse.  Choose your corrections carefully.  Think back to the last time you had to openly rebuke or leverage your deep association with them.

Make it rare. Be more of a listener than their leader.

3.  Affirm your love for them often.

David’s love for Jonathan was “more than the love of women.”  They often spoke of how much they appreciated each other and showed it by being present in tough times.

Go out of your way to tell them what their friendship means to you.  You may think it is silly or unnecessary, but “a word in season” about their character and loyalty to you is a course correction if the relationship is drifting off course.

4.  Be open to changes in their life.

Everybody makes choices and decisions that are odd to us.  We would not have chosen that.  Remember, however, that the decision may be the “tip of the iceberg.”

Out of sight, under the water, there is a huge build-up of reasons for their choice that you cannot see. Don’t abandon a friendship because of one decision. In time, you may get further insight into the depth of their pain, their frustration, and their insights.

Job’s friends had an amazing chance to walk beside him with compassion and empathy. Instead, they judged him, chastised him, berated him, and displeased God in the process.

Treat your friendships carefully. Work on them and maintain them. Honour those God brought to work and walk alongside you in life.

At the end of your life, your friends will surround you and celebrate your friendship.

Keep them close.

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Republished with thanks to Larry Stockstill.