Guys, Get Your Ticket for Melbourne’s ‘International Lesbian Day’ Party
International Lesbian Day is coming up fast, and the gals in Melbourne are trying to get organised.
But a Pride of Lesbians planning a big celebration on October 15 have just one problem — they don’t want any men involved.
It makes sense, right? Excluding men is not an option for lesbians; it’s a feature.
Well, not so fast, ladies. Victoria’s Sex Discrimination Act makes it unlawful to have a lesbian event that doesn’t include men.
Now, most blokes would argue that, like lesbians, they also fancy women. But the lesbian situation is more nuanced than that.
Lesbian events are for women attracted to women, not men attracted to women who are attracted to women.
At this point, every man in the country shakes an angry fist at the heavens and screams, ‘Why is life so damn unfair?’
‘But wait,’ I hear all the enterprising young men say. ‘What if I was a man attracted to women who identifies as a woman? Can I get my event ticket online? Or do I pay at the door? Hurry up October already!’
Not so fast. These lesbians didn’t come down in the last Mardi Gras. They’ve already anticipated a bunch of ladies packing a little extra arriving for the event, and they’re not having it.
They want to advertise their girl-on-girl gathering as being for “Lesbians Born Female Only”, which sadly precludes Dylan Mulvaney and friends.
Approval Required
But excluding trans women from your lesbian celebration is not as easy as boycotting Bud Lite. The girls need a special exemption from the Australian Human Rights Commission, or their International Lesbian Day party will be illegal.
You can’t just un-alphabet the Alphabet Community because you want a little space from the other consonants.
If the Ls want even a night without the Gs or the Bs or Ts, they’ll need a special license.
The LGBTQ rainbow doesn’t come apart without the say-so of the State.
The AHRC is currently taking public submissions and will make a ruling on this difficult subject some time before the event.
In the meantime boys, circle the second weekend of October in your diaries.
Vote ‘No’ to the Voice on the Saturday, and dance all night to “Strawberry Kisses”, hopefully with the Matildas, on the Sunday.
I jest, of course. “The Loco-motion” is a much better song.
After decades of campaigning for gay rights, this is the situation lesbians now find themselves in — needing government permission to celebrate International Lesbian Day.
Tolerance and love and diversity and inclusion is working out so well… for men.
___
Originally published at The James Macpherson Report.
Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.
Photo by Anna Shvets.
4 Comments
Leave A Comment
Recent Articles:
15 July 2026
4.4 MINS
In an age when our Prime Minister openly jokes about 'shagging' and candidly discusses his marital sex life, we might think the question of modesty is settled. It's not. In fact, it's never been more urgent.
14 July 2026
3.9 MINS
The Greens are pushing an "anti-conversion practices" bill that goes further than anything we've seen in other states — and it should alarm every Australian Christian, parent, and, actually, everyone — not just Tasmanians. Please pray for Tasmania.
14 July 2026
3.7 MINS
Recent reporting — including statements from Israel’s new ambassador to Australia and a powerful press release from the Indigenous Friends of Israel — reveals a disturbing truth: antisemitism in Australia has surged. Australia is facing a moment of moral reckoning.
14 July 2026
7.3 MINS
Nation First looks into how the ABC and UN aid industry are exploiting child marriage to push a climate agenda, attract more taxpayer funding and shield the adults and customs responsible for child brides.
13 July 2026
7.1 MINS
This compelling analysis explores the decline of Australia's bravery honours, raising urgent questions about administrative failures, transparency and whether courageous Australians are receiving the recognition they deserve.
13 July 2026
3.9 MINS
When a woman who'd written a bestseller for women called to ask for help reaching men, my first instinct was caution. But Dawn Williams is offering men something powerful, and her upcoming book, "The Rebuilt Man", will help men rediscover the man they were created to be.
10 July 2026
4.8 MINS
A new OECD report shows that Australians have suffered one of the developed world’s sharpest declines in living standards since Covid. The signs are everywhere: whether bracket creep or business confidence collapse, here are 10 hard data points that expose the gap between Labor’s spin and Australians’ everyday experience.
Dear James,
At this point in time you still have the right to free speech, and you shine a light on inconsistencies in the arguments of certain LGBT+ people by your satire, but I would encourage you also to remember that these are people for whom Christ died. Your statement commencing “At this point, every man in the country shakes an angry fist at the heavens and screams …. ” Not so! Not every man. Some men in our country are ‘born again’ Christians and have a different approach when they disagree or are puzzled about anything. Even though I disagree with your manner of speaking/writing, I still support your right to speak your mind. This right could be curtailed in the near future if the government has its way.
Dear Cecily,
I appreciate your reminder about the importance of seeing all individuals as people for whom Christ died, and the importance of compassionate communication.
I believe James’s article was not an attempt to malign any group but was a satirical exploration of the complexities that have arisen within our modern cultural landscape. The intention behind the satire is to shed light on the intricacies of our society, where sometimes the lines between inclusivity, freedom of speech, and identity become blurred. The observations he made are a testament to how ripe certain topics have become for comedic insight, given the often paradoxical nature of the evolving cultural discourse.
Your valid concern about potential curtailment of free speech by the government only further underscores the extent to which our society is grappling with these issues. It’s evidence of a larger dialogue that our society is currently entangled in – a dialogue that sometimes feels influenced by a “woke mind virus” that can have polarizing effects on discussions about identity, inclusivity, and rights.
I am woman hear me roar… Lesbians have lost their rights , just as hetero woman have also. Who will be next?
This is not the 21st century I was promised. I was thinking flying cars…but Noooo!
I get lesbians who want to party only with homo-normative-XX-possessors.
Did I get that intersectionality gibberish correct?
It’d take a heart of stone not to laugh.