Guys, Get Your Ticket for Melbourne’s ‘International Lesbian Day’ Party
International Lesbian Day is coming up fast, and the gals in Melbourne are trying to get organised.
But a Pride of Lesbians planning a big celebration on October 15 have just one problem — they don’t want any men involved.
It makes sense, right? Excluding men is not an option for lesbians; it’s a feature.
Well, not so fast, ladies. Victoria’s Sex Discrimination Act makes it unlawful to have a lesbian event that doesn’t include men.
Now, most blokes would argue that, like lesbians, they also fancy women. But the lesbian situation is more nuanced than that.
Lesbian events are for women attracted to women, not men attracted to women who are attracted to women.
At this point, every man in the country shakes an angry fist at the heavens and screams, ‘Why is life so damn unfair?’
‘But wait,’ I hear all the enterprising young men say. ‘What if I was a man attracted to women who identifies as a woman? Can I get my event ticket online? Or do I pay at the door? Hurry up October already!’
Not so fast. These lesbians didn’t come down in the last Mardi Gras. They’ve already anticipated a bunch of ladies packing a little extra arriving for the event, and they’re not having it.
They want to advertise their girl-on-girl gathering as being for “Lesbians Born Female Only”, which sadly precludes Dylan Mulvaney and friends.
Approval Required
But excluding trans women from your lesbian celebration is not as easy as boycotting Bud Lite. The girls need a special exemption from the Australian Human Rights Commission, or their International Lesbian Day party will be illegal.
You can’t just un-alphabet the Alphabet Community because you want a little space from the other consonants.
If the Ls want even a night without the Gs or the Bs or Ts, they’ll need a special license.
The LGBTQ rainbow doesn’t come apart without the say-so of the State.
The AHRC is currently taking public submissions and will make a ruling on this difficult subject some time before the event.
In the meantime boys, circle the second weekend of October in your diaries.
Vote ‘No’ to the Voice on the Saturday, and dance all night to “Strawberry Kisses”, hopefully with the Matildas, on the Sunday.
I jest, of course. “The Loco-motion” is a much better song.
After decades of campaigning for gay rights, this is the situation lesbians now find themselves in — needing government permission to celebrate International Lesbian Day.
Tolerance and love and diversity and inclusion is working out so well… for men.
___
Originally published at The James Macpherson Report.
Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.
Photo by Anna Shvets.
4 Comments
Leave A Comment
Recent Articles:
15 September 2026
5.1 MINS
Joshua Broome was a porn star with fame, money, and a drug overdose planned. Trapped in deep shame and guilt, he found forgiveness and his true identity in Jesus Christ, and is now a husband, father, author and pastor.
15 September 2026
13.4 MINS
Nation First analyses how Albanese’s Digital Duty of Care could expand the definition of online harm, pressure Big Tech to censor lawful speech and supercharge the powers of eSafety.
14 September 2026
4.5 MINS
Moira Deeming says the public hasn't heard the full story of what happened to her inside the Victorian Liberal Party — and now, after joining Family First, she's ready to tell it.
14 September 2026
9.7 MINS
The word of God is living and active, and Christians across history have taken that seriously. A new Melbourne Bible Reading initiative is joining a global movement to read Scripture publicly — and you can be part of it.
14 September 2026
4.9 MINS
The Albanese Government Digital Duty of Care Bill could give an unelected commissioner the power to suppress free speech online — and Senator Alex Antic is leading the fight to stop it.
14 September 2026
4.3 MINS
Healing only happens when men stop being silent — and Men's Leadership Summits exist to make that possible, giving men a safe place to face their pain and begin to heal.
11 September 2026
3.3 MINS
Moira Deeming has joined Family First as its lead Victorian candidate, pledging to contest the 28 November state election and continue her fight for child safeguards, faith, and sex-based rights.
Dear James,
At this point in time you still have the right to free speech, and you shine a light on inconsistencies in the arguments of certain LGBT+ people by your satire, but I would encourage you also to remember that these are people for whom Christ died. Your statement commencing “At this point, every man in the country shakes an angry fist at the heavens and screams …. ” Not so! Not every man. Some men in our country are ‘born again’ Christians and have a different approach when they disagree or are puzzled about anything. Even though I disagree with your manner of speaking/writing, I still support your right to speak your mind. This right could be curtailed in the near future if the government has its way.
Dear Cecily,
I appreciate your reminder about the importance of seeing all individuals as people for whom Christ died, and the importance of compassionate communication.
I believe James’s article was not an attempt to malign any group but was a satirical exploration of the complexities that have arisen within our modern cultural landscape. The intention behind the satire is to shed light on the intricacies of our society, where sometimes the lines between inclusivity, freedom of speech, and identity become blurred. The observations he made are a testament to how ripe certain topics have become for comedic insight, given the often paradoxical nature of the evolving cultural discourse.
Your valid concern about potential curtailment of free speech by the government only further underscores the extent to which our society is grappling with these issues. It’s evidence of a larger dialogue that our society is currently entangled in – a dialogue that sometimes feels influenced by a “woke mind virus” that can have polarizing effects on discussions about identity, inclusivity, and rights.
I am woman hear me roar… Lesbians have lost their rights , just as hetero woman have also. Who will be next?
This is not the 21st century I was promised. I was thinking flying cars…but Noooo!
I get lesbians who want to party only with homo-normative-XX-possessors.
Did I get that intersectionality gibberish correct?
It’d take a heart of stone not to laugh.