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Drone incursions over Australian air force bases have surged 635% in three years, yet soldiers are told only to close the blinds. Satirist James Macpherson skewers the government’s response.

Want to know how pathetically weak our defence force has become under the Albanese government?

Our soldiers have been told that when swarms of unidentified drones invade airspace around our military bases, they should “ensure window blinds are closed”.

Good God!

What will our soldiers be instructed to do if the drones ever drop bombs? Hold hands under their desks?

The Numbers Are Getting Worse

The Daily Telegraph revealed on Saturday that drones have been allowed to repeatedly fly in restricted airspace over our air force bases.

None of the mysterious drones has ever been shot down.

Our soldiers have counted them, though.

There were 21 incursions in the 2022/23 financial year.

That grew to 60 incursions in 2023/24.

And there were an astonishing 147 incursions last financial year.

All of which means drone incursions at our military bases are growing at a faster rate than Anthony Albanese’s nose.

Now, the drones might just be toys operated by kids.

Perhaps the unmanned devices are being flown by harmless enthusiasts who are still getting the hang of remote-controlled flight.

The first drone I ever bought for my sons disappeared over a neighbour’s fence, never to be found again, not five minutes after we unpacked it from its box!

But there’s another possibility.

Maybe the drones are being controlled by foreign agents conducting surveillance on our military installations.

The concern is that our government hasn’t a clue who is behind the drone incursion. Could be a kid. Could be a dad in an adjacent suburb who never reads instructions. Could be a lieutenant of the IRGC.

The Defence Force has no more idea than you or I.

It’s not all bad news, though.

I’m reliably informed that when they draw the blinds, the drones magically disappear!

Bases Across the Country Affected

The Daily Telegraph reported that unidentified drones had been sighted over Amberley Airforce Base in Brisbane, over Richmond Airforce Base on the outskirts of Sydney, over Townsville Airforce Base in North Queensland, and over Edinburgh Airforce Base outside Adelaide.

It all seems very random, doesn’t it?

A spokesperson for Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles told journalists,

“These incidents are treated seriously, which is why Defence is working closely with the appropriate authorities.”

They’re treating these incidents so seriously, that the incidents have increased by 635 percent in just three years.

Imagine if they weren’t treating them seriously!

Ministers Weigh In

When reporters asked Defence Industry Minister Pat Conroy about the increase in drones flying over military installations, he replied that drones were “something we’re seeing more often” at military installations.

If you ever find yourself wondering why Pat Conroy is in charge of Defence Industry and not Defence Intelligence, then just read the previous paragraph again slowly.

Conroy wasn’t finished, though. He told the media:

“It’s not something that people should be doing.

“Like, from a basic common-sense point of view, anything that has the ability to interrupt air operations or endanger lives is very silly, and people shouldn’t be doing it.”

If the drones are being operated by the Chinese or by the Iranians, well, like, now they’ve been told.

It’s very silly and, like, not something they should be doing.

Why do we even need a defence force when we’ve got Pat Conroy’s stern words to shoo away the drones?

The PM’s Response

The Prime Minister Anthony Albanese dodged questions about the drones when asked on Saturday.

Which must have made a pleasant change from dodging questions about melons. But I digress.

When asked whether ASIO should investigate 147 drone incursions over restricted airspace at some of the nation’s most significant defence bases, the PM replied,

“I want to make this point as someone who represents an electorate near Australia’s busiest commercial airport that it is unsafe and dangerous to have drones around airspace.”

I cannot overstate how fortunate we are to have a Prime Minister whose lived experience — living near an airport — gives him such profound insights.

Albanese then told journalists,

“It makes no sense for that to occur.”

Au contraire, Prime Minister.

Flying drones over restricted airspace that is defended by nothing more than Venetian blinds and Pat Conroy’s verbal diarrhoea makes perfect sense… if you’re China. Or Iran.

The PM assured Australians, however, that he was addressing the situation.

“One of the things that my government has done through investment in the Australian Defence Force is to make sure that we’re investing something like $7 billion in capability when it comes to warfare associated with drones.”

Until then, our soldiers should close the blinds and never stray too far from a desk… just in case.

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Republished with thanks to The James Macpherson Report. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.