
Perth Wins the 2030 Gay Games
Scores Gold in Identity Politics.
Perth has beaten the world to win the right to host the Gay Games in 2030, which, for the uninitiated, is just like the Olympics, except for the glitter and the gays.
Western Australia’s Tourism Minister, Rece Whitby, was overjoyed:
“The 2030 Gay Games XIII is a fantastic celebration of sport, inclusion, and diversity.”
The Perth bid team paraded inclusivity so enthusiastically you half-expected the Swan River to identify as a lagoon.
But wait. Can straight people participate?
Inclusion used to mean everyone. Now it means everyone except the people you’re excluding in the name of inclusion.
Acceptable Segregation
You see, the Gay Games aren’t really about sport. They’re about …
… identity.
I can’t wait for the press release announcing the new events: the 100-metre virtue signal, the synchronised pronoun recital, and of course, the high jump to conclusions.
And you have to hand it to them, the marketing is genius.
“The Gay Games.”
Not “the Games for Gay People,” which would sound, you know, exclusionary.
Just “The Gay Games,” as if all other sports are now officially The Straight Games.
Now imagine for a second that Perth hosted the Straight Games.
Picture the outrage.
Picture the press conference:
“We regret to announce that all LGBTQ+ people will be excluded, because this is about celebrating heterosexual excellence. These hurdles are for heterosexuals only.”
The Human Rights Commission would spontaneously combust.
The ABC would declare a national emergency.
And the Prime Minister would probably fly in to deliver an apology.
The outrage would melt the internet.
But slap the word gay on it, and suddenly segregation becomes celebration.
But when it’s the Gay Games, suddenly segregation is celebrated. We’re told it’s empowering. Because nothing says progress like dividing people up according to their sexual preferences.
Special Treatment
The Gay Games are the most unnecessary sporting event in the world.
If people weren’t allowed to participate in the Olympic Games, then the Gay Games might be a noble initiative.
But here in the real world, no one’s checking orientation at the starting blocks.
Gay athletes have competed — and won — in every major international sporting event for decades. So why do we need a separate Olympics based on what happens after hours?
Once upon a time, people fought for the right to be treated the same.
Now we fight for the right to be treated differently, so long as it comes with a parade and a corporate sponsorship from Qantas.
And the hypocrisy is stunning.
The same activists who tell us “love is love” insist we celebrate difference, not sameness.
The same people who insist gender is a spectrum are suddenly obsessed with who fits into which category for the relay race.
But here’s the darker joke: it’s not really about sexuality at all. It’s about ideology.
The Gay Games are the perfect metaphor for modern politics — participation trophies for moral superiority.
You don’t win by running fastest or jumping highest; you win by identifying the hardest.
The real competition isn’t on the track; it’s for who can be the most oppressed. The winners get medals, headlines, and the chance to lecture the rest of us on tolerance.
Meanwhile, the rest of us — the ordinary, boring, taxpaying heterosexuals — can only look on and wonder when it became unfashionable just to be normal.
So yes, Perth will host the Gay Games in 2030.
There’ll be rainbow flags, speeches about inclusion, and not a hint of irony as an entire city celebrates diversity by excluding anyone who dares to notice the double standard.
And when the Games are over, perhaps Perth can host something even rarer: the Common Sense Games. I wouldn’t count on many entries.
___
Republished with thanks to The James Macpherson Report. Image thanks to Adobe.
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I expect Albo to take gold in the 1600m Sulkathon.