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Ben Alexander, former Wallaby International Rugby Union player, stepped up to the microphone.

The big hands of Ben’s imposing athletic frame gripped either side of the podium. He took a couple of very deliberate deep breaths.

The words filled the screen behind him: “I am Not Broken – I Am Cooked.”

I could tell he was fighting back the tears as he told the story of his Wallabies teammate Dan Vickerman’s tragic death by suicide.

Dan left behind his wife and two young sons.

I was at the Fathering Project 2026 Summit in Sydney with Nat Marsh, my son, the new CEO of Dads4Kids. We were both deeply moved by Ben Alexander’s profound story of loss.

Even more so when we thought of Dan’s two fatherless boys.

Thankfully, Ben Alexander, who has had his own struggles, turned his grief into a source of healing and started a charity called Running for Resilience.

The simple concept is that we are better together and better still when we exercise and run together. As Alexander Pope said, “No man is an island.”

Building a Dad Tribe

The next speaker, Shaun Chandran, who was the Community Father of the Year in 2024, took us to a whole new level in how to help dads.

Jade Juerwicz from The West Australian tells the story well:

Shaun Chandran was nervous. Would anyone show up?

He had met with his local MP to secure a meeting spot and put the word out the best he could, and yet there was a lingering fear that perhaps the whole dads group thing only mattered to him.

As he walked out of his home to head to the park with his two kids, Syreeta and Marley, his wife Kylie gently reminded him that there would be at least one father there — him.

Chandran needn’t have worried. Fifteen dads turned up that day.

Since that morning in March 2020, plenty has happened: the world paused during the pandemic, and Chandran worked on the art of ‘dadvertising’ to reach more people. Throughout it all his mantra of “why dad alone when you can dad together?” held strong.

Over the years, the message has resonated far beyond the Belmont playground.

Today, more than 600 dads are part of the Belmont Dads Group, travelling from as far as Rockingham and Joondalup to be part of it.

Chandran has gone on to create a slew of popular events that have brought together hundreds of dads: separated dads, new dads, stay-at-home dads, FIFO dads.

Men who might otherwise be struggling, confused or alone are offered the space to have conversations that often begin light and casual but can quickly deepen into stories of divorce or the struggle of being present for kids while juggling a demanding job.

600 Dads and Counting

The Belmont Dads Group in 2023. Credit: Shaun Chandran.

For his work and passion, Chandran was named Community Father of the Year at the 2024 Australian Fathering Awards. And while he’s quick to celebrate the dads who have found connection, he’s quieter about his own part in it.

“I’m happy to yell out the community part and whisper the father of the year part because for me that’s the most powerful word that keeps coming back into my life — the common unity that we share to bring people together when we’re struggling or isolated,” Chandran says humbly of the win.

That’s the kind of guy the father of two is — more at ease cheering on others than claiming credit for himself…

That experience shaped his determination to model a different kind of fatherhood: present, patient and open to learning from others.

What Chandran will tell you, though, is the power he finds in being with dads in the community, reminding them that fatherhood doesn’t have to be a solo act.

“That group (Belmont Dads Group) was an opportunity for us to put down the heavy shields that most men might carry during the week and just be a dad — in all the glory of its messiness, of not knowing what to do and just figuring it out,” he says.

“That’s the thing that works for some dads because a lot of us feel like beginners in the dad space, regardless of what we are in our professional spaces. In the dad space we’re all doing it together, which I think is a key ingredient of what worked for us.”

Shaun Chandran with daughter Syreeta, meeting her brother Marley for the first time. Credit: Shaun Chandran.

Shaun Chandran’s motto is, “Why dad alone when you can dad together?” Ben Alexander, the former Wallaby player and father of three, would 100% agree. As Rick Warren said, “We were wired for each other… We need each other.”

Lovework

Do not wait to get to the “I am cooked” stage. The saying, “A trouble shared is a trouble halved,” is true. Robert Louis Stevenson said it beautifully, “The friendless owner of the world is poor.” Dr Suess got right to the point when he said, “Fun is good.”

If you are a dad, build friendships with other dads your children’s age and then do fun things together with those dads and their kids.

Your children will be happy. Your wife will be happy, you will be happy, and you will live longer because of it.

Yours for happy dads and kids,
Warwick Marsh

PS: It is better for you to do this organically, but if you need ideas, check out these websites and make sure you watch the short 9-minute Dads4Kids Fun Camp – TV documentary.

1. D4K Fun Camp TV Doco
2. Man With A Pram
3. Fathering Adventures
4. Running for Resilience
5. The Fathering Project: Join a Group
6. Dads4Kids Fun Camp

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Republished with thanks to Dads4Kids.