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Albert Einstein said, “Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.” Einstein must have been writing about Larry Stockstill.

The words on Larry’s weekly blog are certainly wise and get straight to the point.

“My goal is to impart timeless truths that will enhance your value as a leader and keep you there your entire life journey. If you have observed influential leaders who have imploded and want to be a ‘long term leader,’ this blog is for you.”

Larry is my sort of guy. I have been watching good leaders implode for many years and my big goal is not to become one of them.

Most of them were fathers and in most cases their families imploded as well. Again, in most cases it was a marriage breakup and usually self-induced. Even with equal shared parenting the net result is still fatherless children.

My wife got onto Larry Stockstill many years ago and she sends me his blog posts now and then. His blog post, “The 3 Most Important Things You Get from a Father” hits the ball home.

“Fathering is not just a ROLE; it is a FOUNDATION.”

People without fathering battle deep insecurity, wrong choices, and uncontrollable habits.

What is a fatherless generation missing?

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes—32 times the national average.

85% of all children with behaviour disorders are from fatherless homes—20 times the average.

85% of all youth in prisons come from fatherless homes—20 times the average.

Enough said?

What is a fatherless child missing?

1. ACCOUNTABILITY: “The power of a daily life coach.”

• I don’t know about you, but I got in trouble every day. I ran off, I lied, I stole, I was disrespectful, I did destructive things at a moment’s notice. In between those things, I was a nice kid!
• My father represented to me the IMMOVABLE OBJECT. He took no bull, calmly “shut me down,” asked me, “Where do you think you are going?” He often applied the “board of education to the seat of higher learning!”
• Without a father (or mother) who will not budge on standards or let a kid get by, a child has no inner accountability and walls. “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left WITHOUT WALLS” (Prov. 25:28)

2. APPRENTICESHIP: “The power of a living example.”

• Throughout history, fathers taught their skills to sons and daughters. Something inside of them told them that they owed it to their children to train them for the time they were no longer around. Fathers, your every move, good or bad, is TRAINING.
• A child learns more in one hour alongside a father than in years of behaviour modification. I carefully watched my father mow grass, fix up a home, get sweaty and head off to work. I watched him hold his temper and restrain his emotions. I copied his facial expressions and humour. I learned how to handle life, money, and people from a father.

3. AFFIRMATION: “The power of a pleased mentor.”

• I can still remember 48 years ago when my high school basketball coach stopped an entire practice to compliment a move I made to the basket. I can still remember 47 years ago when my English teacher stopped our class to compliment my writing. Time stood still in that moment. Affirmation is a point in time when you become convinced that you can change the world.
• What if a child never hears those words? What if they hear the opposite: “You will never amount to anything.” What if your identity becomes “Stupid…Failure…Dumb…Weak? Can they ever face life with the courage and bravery of a champion?

“Accountability, apprenticeship, and affirmation.” Three little words but three powerful keys that open all the doors in life.

If you are a father, be sure that each of your children gets all three things. Give them the internal security they crave.

Remember: “We can change our world…one young life at a time.”

Lovework

What’s the bet that both you and I can still remember the nice things that people said about us when we were children or in our teens? I still have a letter of encouragement a guy wrote me when I was 16 years of age. Even today the letter is precious to me.

Larry is right. Those words of affirmation are pure gold for our children. Let’s make sure we give them lots of it this week.

Yours for Words of Affirmation

Warwick Marsh

P.S.: You probably know I am not excited about mandatory vaccine passports. But to force them on our children is a bridge too far. What is the benefit? Children thankfully rarely ever get COVID.

When they do, it is in the vast majority of cases a passing irritation. Children under ten years of age are 20 TIMES more likely to die in an accident than of COVID-19, and even the flu is twice as deadly to them.

Many vaccine safety issues have not yet been resolved. Medical data suggests that boys aged 12 to 15 are four to six times more likely to be diagnosed with vaccine-related myocarditis than ending up in a hospital with COVID.

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Originally published on The Daily Dad. Image by Brittani Burns on Unsplash.