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Jason T. Smith and his wife Paulina have come up with a genius parenting plan that will give your children the best start in life, by celebrating the growth milestones in their life as a series of purposeful rites-of-passage ceremonies.

“Our kids are counting on us to provide two things: consistency and structure. Kids need parents who say what they mean, mean what they say, and do what they say they are going to do”.

These are the wise words of Barbara Coloroso, who is an internationally recognised speaker and author on parenting. Yet these words could also be the mantra for Jason T. Smith.

Jason T. Smith is a writer, a consultant, a successful businessman and a very well-known speaker, mostly in the business world. With his wife Paulina’s help, Jason has also developed some great keys to what he calls ‘Purposeful Parenting’.

As an avid student and advocate of rites of passage ceremonies for children, I was staggered by the genius of their parenting plan. I believe Jason and Paulina have created a proven strategy to give your children the best start in life, by celebrating the growth milestones in a child’s life as a series of purposeful rites-of-passage ceremonies.

Check out my video interview with Jason below.

Let me say this at the outset: there is no silver bullet to bringing up children. If there is one key, it is love — but love must be expressed, otherwise it is just a good idea floating in outer space.

Children love the reality of expressed love. That is why children love having fun and playing games with their parents. Bluey is a classic example of the power of a father who is prepared to down his tools and play games with his children.

As I often say children spell love F-U-N. Equally, I would say that children spell love T-I-M-E. These are the foundational keys to the ‘Seven Step Purposeful Parenting Plan’ created by Jason and Paulina for their children. Please note: I have added an extra step which I am sure they would agree to.

Step One

When children celebrate their fourth birthday, soon after, they get to go camping with their dad for three days. Just dad and the child in a tent in the relative wilderness.

Both Jason and Paulina start talking about this experience one year earlier so there is a build up to the process. Jason says, “From the moment they turned three we are building up an expectation that when you’re four you’re going on a very special camping trip with Dad and you’re going to learn how to pitch a tent.” He goes on:

Also, you will sleep outside and we’re going to do some walking. We’re also going to cook over an open fire. I mean we’re suburbanites. It’s not like I’m a man mountain but it’s this idea that we’re going to have some individual time just me and him.

We’re going to pray together; we’re going to have fun together, we’re going to lay down some really good relational foundations, we’re going to create happy memories and we’re going to talk about this camping trip for the rest of our lives. Just for the record, we are still talking about this camping trip 17 years later until this day.

Step Two

Then at seven years of age, Jason takes his child away one on one for a three-day trip to a more standard location. Jason says, “I live in Melbourne, so I take them to the Gold Coast and we just have a lot of fun together.” He continues:

We stay up late, we go to the beach, we go to mini golf, we go go-karting, we enjoy the good life and we eat ice cream together. This is all about a process of building relationship, but at 10 years of age they’re now seeing a bigger picture.

Wow, this is the second big milestone instalment of some age-appropriate conversations about how to treat their brothers, about how to how to respect their mum, about how to deal with some friends at school, about how to pray and about reading the children’s Bible with Dad.

It’s also an opportunity to ask some questions that they’re otherwise too nervous to ask because it’s just the two of us. You got to believe it, in three days we have a lot of fun. We also have some precious moments in between the big fun moments and some deeper conversations.

Step Three

At ten years of age, Jason prepares their child for a totally different experience with their mother. Jason explains:

Paulina organises a city experience, so each child spends three days with Mum. Again, we spend a whole year prepping them for every one of these encounters. So, with Mum it’s that they get dressed up in a nice shirt. They put on some nice trousers, and they take Mum out on a date to a nice restaurant.

Activities include things like going to the theatre or to museums and special places. They stay in a nice hotel and probably go to the swimming pool at the hotel. Mother and son have some really good conversations together over those three days.

As soon as they land home after that I’m debriefing them, finding out how that weekend was and what did they learn. These experiences teach both us and the children that both mum and dad are crucial influences in their life.

(To be continued next week).

Lovework

I love the fact that this process involves both mum and dad. Why don’t you show this newsletter to your wife and talk it over with her? Still, the greatest thing a man can do for his children is love his wife.

Talking these ideas over is a practical way of showing love.

Yours for Purposeful Parenting,

Warwick Marsh

P.S. Stay tuned for next week’s Part Two on ‘Purposeful Parenting’ with Jason T. Smith.

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Republished with thanks to The Daily Dad.