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by Tara Kennedy

Leila and Danny Abdallah have released their 4 Steps to Forgiveness, a new initiative to help sufferers identify how to forgive those who have hurt them, and what to do next.

The launch by the couple’s i4Give Foundation at the Calyx at Sydney’s Royal Botanic Gardens took place on the annual i4Give Day on 1 February.

It was also the fifth anniversary of the day their children Antony, Angelina, and Sienna Abdallah, together with their niece Veronique Sakr, were hit and killed by a drunk and drug-influenced driver in Oatlands.

In attendance were Kay and Allan Davidson, parents of the jailed driver Samuel Davidson.

Healing

Also in attendance were former Prime Minister Scott Morrison, and NSW Premier Chris Minns, who each spoke about the power of forgiveness.

“When you forgive the other person, we start to heal,” Minns said.

“By spreading this message and, more importantly, by lining the way with your example, you’ve helped other people heal.”

Each step begins with an initial of one of the children, which Leila said was an “intentional decision”.

“It’s not a coincidence that four children entered eternal life and that i4Give has the number four in it,” she said.

“From the very beginning, I knew these steps had to reflect them.”

The steps to forgiveness are: acknowledge the hurt and its impact, accept what cannot be changed, surrender the pain to find peace, and voice your forgiveness.

From Pain to Peace

Leila said the first step of acknowledgement was processing the pain without rushing healing, and the second of acceptance was recognising the “new reality”.

“Acceptance does not mean excusing or justifying what happened — it means recognising the past cannot be rewritten,” she said.

She said the third step of surrender was where the “journey of healing begins” and to offer the pain up to God, with the fourth step of voicing forgiveness as being a choice.

“Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling, it doesn’t always require confronting the other person who hurt you — you can forgive in your heart,” she said.

“Forgiveness is for your peace, not for the other person.”

Leila said the steps were not linear, and any of them could be used as a starting point.

“The first thing I did was step three, I went on my knees, I prayed, and surrendered to God,” she said.

“I had to sit in my faith for a while and then I chose to forgive before even I accepted what happened.”

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Republished with thanks to The Catholic Weekly. Image courtesy of Adobe.