Greta Goes to Gaza
BREAKING: Hamas has agreed to an immediate surrender on condition that Greta Thunberg is immediately returned to Europe.
The terror group’s leader, Haid D’Salaami, said he was willing to face trial in Jerusalem rather than put up with Sweden’s narcissistic goblin of doom.
But the offer was put on hold after an intervention by Ireland’s Prime Minister, Whisky McNugget.
The Irish leader said Greta must remain in Gaza, but that if Hamas didn’t surrender by Monday…
he would send them Rosie O’Donnell.
‘Greta Worse Than Death’: Terror Leaders
Greta Thunberg is currently part of a Freedom Flotilla sailing on a luxury yacht to Gaza where she has promised to use her piggy tails to break the blockade.
The Grifting Kefiyah Karen told journalists…
“In times of injustice, with genocide and blockade happening, we have to do everything we can to demand an end to these atrocities committed by Israel.
“If my presence on this boat can make a difference… to break their seige, then that is a risk I am willing to take.”
The terror group’s head of chemical warfare, Hous Bin Pharteen, joined his notorious cousin, I-Bin Pharteen, in begging organisers of the Freedom Flotilla to turn around.
“We have seen how Greta has helped the climate change cause, and trust us, we don’t need that kind of help.”
Pharteen’s close companion I-Zheet M’Drurz said Hamas was more afraid of Greta Thunberg than of the IDF.
“Give us death. But please, don’t give us Greta.”
Meanwhile, Greta rejected suggestions that her narcissistic trip, made under the guise of fighting for the ’cause’ they knew nothing about a year ago, would deliver zero assistance to starving terrorists.
“Our very presence in Gaza is aid.”
“We are such enlightened beings, everything will be better by us simply being there. Gazans might not even feel hunger, as they will be nourished by our light.”
Freedom Flotilla organisers released a photo, below, of Greta Thunberg aboard her Gaza-bound yacht…
Thunberg to Fly Trans Flag
Thunberg has promised to fly the transgender flag as her boat docks in Gaza in a show of support for gay Palestinians.
Journalists in Sweden asked if authorities there would negotiate for Greta’s release in the event she was taken hostage by Hamas.
Prime Minister Jerker Burger refused to comment, but later apologised for laughing.
Meanwhile, America’s ABC said they were planning on sending Whoopi Goldberg and her co-hosts on The View to negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine.
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Republished with thanks to The James Macpherson Report.
Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.
Image via YouTube/Sky News Australia.
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James, has The Babylon Bee put your on their payroll yet?
In case some don’t get it… this is 100% satire. Trouble is today it can be hard to tell truth from satire :)
This spoof is hilarious.
Greta Thunberg ,theSwedish Goblin of Doom + Gloom+ her Freedom Flotilla now plans to save Trans -Gender Gazians ? What a spoof !