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According to marriage advice from an exorcist, who caught the attention of premium Catholic News site Aleteia, marriages are paralysed by a waning prayer life, pride, and porn.

Milan priest Fr Ambrogio Villa gave a rundown on how he came to discover what he categorised as ‘three ways Satan divides families, through sins of omission, and commission.’

The Italian exorcist explained that the devil ‘distracts us from prayer, drives hyper-individualism, and distorts sexuality.’

This distraction, drive and distortion divides husbands and wives by ‘dissuading them from prayer,’ exalting egos, and perverting the marriage bed.

A Waning Prayer Life

Implying that he sees the consequences of this ‘fading tradition’, especially family prayer, Villa asserted, a waning prayer life ‘was all too common.’

The absence of family prayer, which strengthened families in the past by encouraging the spiritual bonds of unity and spiritual growth, is another foundation lost to the devil’s deception.

Consider how the truth of this is exemplified by fewer and fewer families sitting down at the dinner table to say grace and share a meal with each other.

In sum, families are breaking down because they’re too distracted to pray with, together, and for one another.

Pride

Villa pinned down pride as the ‘devil’s second attack on the family.’

The priest described this as the exaltation of individualism (otherwise known as hyper-individualism, or narcissism — to live life with an excessive concern for self — see here and here).

He said,

‘Satan fosters this by fomenting arguments in which husbands and wives speak harsh and hurtful words to each other; by making each of the spouses think that they can make decisions about their finances without any input from the other.’

Satan also fosters hyper-individualism, ‘by encouraging husbands and wives to fiercely defend their own rights, without consideration of the other.’

Hyper-individualism ends up destroying families, Villa explained, by compromising an ‘institution that lives on the exchange of love.’

Porn

Third on the devil’s list of marriage-hating tactics is ‘uncontrolled or inhibited sexuality.’

The devil ‘divides spouses by unbalancing their sexuality — either encouraging excesses and transgressions, including pornography or cheating, or the opposite: suppressing their sexual relationship altogether.’

As recounted by Aleteia, “the evil one enters families by tricking the spouses into denying each other the exercise of their sexuality.”

“Satan divides spouses in everything, but especially in bed,” Villa argued.

“This is biblical,” he added, “if you know the story of Tobias. The demon Asmodeus — a demon of impurity — prevented Sarah from having conjugal union with her husbands (…) The Church considers the sexual act so important that it is constitutive of the sacrament of marriage.”

Concluding his catechism (teaching), Fr Ambrogio Villa shared how, during the exorcism ‘of a woman who was prevented from uniting sexually with her husband, (he) asked the devil:

‘Why are you preventing this woman from living the sacrament of marriage?’ (…) And he gave him a breathtaking answer: ‘I hate it when husband and wife love each other.’

There’s a Lot to Mull Over

Prayer, notes Focus on the Family, is a vital part of doing life together.

Prayer builds relationships by opening up pathways for ‘greater communication, and spiritual awareness.’

Prayer helps families to evolve, and mature into what Karl Barth called the ‘man for woman, woman for man, both free for God union.’

More importantly, as Barth declared, ‘Prayer is a revolt against the disorder of the world.’

Or as sane civil rights teacher, John Perkins said, ‘Prayer is not a substitute for action — it is preparation for action.’

Villa’s Point About Pride Checks Out

Pride is an enemy of grace. There’s little room for dialogue, forgiveness, or restoration when either a husband or wife succumbs to the ‘me, myself and I’ cultural trend, or worse, a culture of victimhood.

Likewise, porn distorts expectations by confusing fantasy with reality.

To quote Caldron Pool editor Ben Davis,

‘Men, keeping the “marriage bed undefiled” begins in the mind (Heb. 13:4; Matt. 5:28). Luther said, “You cannot prevent the birds from flying in the air over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair.”‘

The Milan exorcist’s marriage advice sits squarely with his forebear, Ambrose of Milan (AD 339-397), who said,

‘He who condemns marriage, condemns the birth of children, and the fellowship of the human race […] The marriage bond is, indeed, holy and good.’

The devil hates God’s man-for-woman, woman-for-man Divine ordering of creation.

Hence the devil’s distraction, drive, distortion, and consequential destruction.

By way of Fr Ambrogio Villa’s experience, it’s possible to state with further confidence that a loving marriage isn’t just spiritual warfare.

In today’s socio-political zeitgeist, the man-for-woman, woman-for-man union is a Spirit-led, Bible-fed, revolt against the devil’s disorder.

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Photo by Arina Krasnikova.