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Dr Allan Meyer says, “Women live in an oestrogen mist, but men live in a testosterone fog.” Allan was referring to the huge challenge it is for men to keep their sexual integrity in a p*rnified world.

Allan would argue that women do not experience the same relentless sexual pressure caused by male testosterone in the way that men do.

Alan Meyer is the creator of a 10-week Valiant Man course, which is designed to fortify the moral and spiritual integrity of men in a highly sexualised culture.  He also wrote a book called From Good Man to Valiant Man.

Since 2005, this course has engaged with more than 200,000 men in Australia, New Zealand, and other places around the globe.  It was the product of Dr Allan Meyer’s doctoral studies with Denver Seminary, USA.

Dr Meyer said,

“If a man is willing to apply himself, he can restore and fortify the moral and spiritual walls in his life. Such a man can go beyond good intentions and become a Valiant Man — the kind of man who is strong under pressure, the kind of man that women and children can depend on.”

Allan Meyer is one of the many fathers I interviewed in my Courageous Online Fathering course. See Dr Allan Meyer’s interview session with Allan and two other dads, David and Jason.

The new course starts this Tuesday, 8 October 2024. Register here.

The team at Dads4Kids was so concerned about this important subject that we ran a Sexual Integrity Forum in Parliament House in 2005.

I am glad that other men are starting and creating courses to help men deal with the challenge of p*rn. Such a man is Greg O’Neill, who runs a 10-week course on the same subject called Secret Men’s Business.

Recently, I caught up with Greg to talk about his own challenges in this area and find out how he could help other men struggling with the same problem. Watch the video here.

Sadly, Greg’s p*rn addiction cost him his marriage, his house and his children. It’s a heartbreaking story, but a story that has to be told. Ultimately, Greg’s tale of woe is a story of hope, victory and freedom — but at what a price!

Greg shares the story of Ryan on his website:

“I had hit rock bottom when I was put in touch with Greg. P*rn and sex had taken over my life and nearly took my life. From the moment I was put in touch with Greg, he was a constant support and spiritual mentor. He walked me through the hardest and darkest season of my life, meeting weekly with me for months and providing mid-week support and accountability.

I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today without his counsel, accountability, and guidance. It’s been 257 days today since I looked at p*rn or masturbated…

While I know that I am still in the early stages of recovering from this 18-year addiction, I feel Greg has helped me discover the right tools to live in freedom and purity. I could not be more thankful for the impact he’s had on my life.”

I have certainly had my own struggles over the years with p*rn, and I know 98% of men struggle with p*rn, too.

I have met only one man who didn’t struggle with it, in my entire life. My friend Paul White, who is a leader in the Men’s Movement in Australia and an atheist, told me he never had a problem with viewing p*rn.

Paul helped our team at Dads4Kids formulate the 12pt Plan for men. The breakthrough movie Men’s Group was the story of his men’s group. I believe Paul never had a problem with p*rn because Paul by his own admission had a great relationship with his father.

This is one thing that protects you from dangerous addictive behaviours more than anything else. In my case, my father wound ran deep because I grew up in a broken home. I am very conscious that I am highly susceptible to addictive behaviours such as alcohol, social media and p*rn, and so I take steps to limit my exposure to such damaging addictions.

For instance, to this day (since 2005), I only use Webshield as my internet provider because it has an automatic p*rn filtering system built into it. Once bitten, twice shy. You have to take every opportunity to block p*rn from your devices and out of your life.

So, my main challenge in this regard is my phone and mobile, which I am struggling to get a filter for, but it is possible apparently, according to Quora.

Thomas Jefferson said, “The price of safety is eternal vigilance.”

Let me give you some resources and links to choose from:

1. How P*rn DAMAGES Your Brain
2. Check out the NoFap movement, which is quite large globally, and was started by atheist Alexander Rhodes in 2011 to help men get free from p*rn and compulsive masturbation.
   • Main Website
   • Video with Chris Williamson & Dr Andrew Huberman
   • BBC Story: “I gave up Masturbation for a year.”
3. Sexaholics Anonymous
4. Dr Allan Meyer’s Valiant Man Program
5. Greg O’Neill’s Secret Men’s Business: Courses and Counselling

Lovework

Watch my video interview with Greg O’Neill above. He is a courageous man doing wonderful work to help other men in this very needed area. I encourage you to do your own research, as we can all improve ourselves in this area anytime.

Yours for Total Freedom,
Warwick Marsh

PS: The Courageous Online Fathering Course starts this Tuesday, 8 October.
Registrations close midnight, Sunday, 6 October. Don’t miss out. Book here NOW.

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Republished with thanks to Dads4Kids. Image courtesy of Adobe.