
You’d Think It Was Anthony Albanese That the US Bombed
For Albanese and Wong, the US operation was more than just a foreign policy nightmare – it was a vibe violation.
As plumes of smoke rose over Iran’s now slightly second-hand nuclear facilities, the Ayatollah wept.
But if you listened carefully, you could hear a faint, anguished sob echoing across the Indian Ocean. Not from Tehran – but from Canberra.
The American Air Force yesterday gave Iran’s nuclear ambitions a one-way ticket to paradise.
And the only people more devastated than Iran’s supreme leader were members of the Albanese Government.
Albanese, whose strategic brilliance is normally reserved for regulating vape flavours and announcing energy price hikes, was sulking…
Albanese’s Silence
While world leaders issued statements about the US attack on Iran’s nuclear installations, the Australian Prime Minister was silent.
He had no interest in what the United States called Operation Midnight Hammer – a bold, unapologetic strike that turned Iran’s nuclear ambitions into a smoking pile of centrifuge confetti.
Anthony Albanese, with help from Foreign Minister Penny Wong, had been working hard on plans for Operation Decade-Long Feather Touch…
The Federal Labor Government had hoped to tickle the Ayatollah into submission over the course of ten to fifteen respectful diplomatic summits.
Albo’s strategy had been a non-threatening PowerPoint presentation to be politely shown at a Geneva roundtable, featuring slides like “Why Uranium Isn’t Your Friend” and “Let’s Talk About Peace Over Fairtrade Coffee.”
But now all of that lay in smoking ruins.
Trump’s Operation Midnight Hammer
The Americans had sent Stealth bombers even before Penny Wong had been able to finish her sternly worded press release.
Trump’s Operation Midnight Hammer was a muscular affair. Air strikes. Bunker busting bombs. Explosions. The kind of thing serious countries do.
His ballsy operation shook the Middle East.
Albo’s plans would have struggled to ruffle a hijab.
For Albanese and Wong, the US operation was more than just a foreign policy nightmare – it was a vibe violation.
It was masculinity. It was military. It was… effective.
And nothing is more confronting to a progressive cabinet than watching bold, unapologetic leadership succeed without a single mention of “climate justice”, “pronouns” or “working with the global community”.
Albo was have been terribly confused as to how the US could act without running their plans by a UN working group chaired by Venezuela.
There were no consultative Zoom calls. No rainbow-coloured conflict resolution circles. There wasn’t even a Greta Thunberg speech.
Moral Superiority Wrapped in Cowardice
Operation Midnight Hammer was horrifying effective. And “effective” is not something with which the Albanese Government is familiar.
Operation Midnight Hammer is Albanese’s worst nightmare.
It proves that peace doesn’t always come from listening circles and UNESCO brochures. Sometimes it comes from sending a bunker buster through a hardened target metres underground.
And so, while the Americans were hammering away, Albanese was quietly fluffing the feathers of his imaginary operation – “an inclusive, long-term diplomatic engagement rooted in mutual respect.”
Translation: “We’ll talk until they’ve built the bomb, tested it, and launched it – then we’ll form a committee to analyse the mushroom cloud over Jerusalem.”
At the time of writing – more than 12 hours after Operation Midnight Hammer – Albanese still hadn’t condemned Iran’s nuclear violations. Or thanked America for doing the dirty work.
The Australian Government’s Operation Decade-Long Feather Touch was a doctrine of moral superiority wrapped in cowardice.
It preferred speeches to air strikes, hashtags to hard power, and above all it hopes everyone else will do the necessary work of reality.
So, hats off to Operation Midnight Hammer for reminding the free world that there are still nations willing to act.
While the Ayatollah wipes away tears with shredded uranium documentation, spare a thought for Albo and Wong. Their dreams of being admired on the international stage through inoffensive ambiguity were reduced to rubble yesterday – alongside Iran’s nuclear hopes.
___
Republished with thanks to The James Macpherson Report.
Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.
Images via The White House/Australian Government/Wikimedia Commons.
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Yep. Albo and Wong are but a pimple on the butt of world affairs. Totally of no value. Bit like Australia thinking it’s nett zero targets make ant difference whatsoever to carbon emissions. Albo is a legend in his own mind only. Surely our dumbest pm , ever!