Microsoft LGBT flag

Microsoft’s New Pride Flag

25 October 2022

2.5 MINS

Microsoft has unveiled the latest gay Pride flag.

The Pride flag has had more updates than Windows, so it makes sense that Bill Gates‘ team have had a go at it.

Apparently, Microsoft designed the flag by having an intern chug paint and then vomit it onto a canvas.

I think we can all agree that the result is stunning and brave.

I’m old enough to remember when flags were for nations, not for individual lifestyle choices.

So Inclusive

Microsoft released a statement (this part is true) saying:

This flag combines 40 different flags from LGBTQIA+ communities around the world, including: Abrosexual, Aceflux, Agender, Ambiamorous, Androgynous, Aroace, Aroflux, Aromantic, Asexual, Bigender, Bisexual, Demifluid, Demigender, Demigirl, Demiromantic, Demisexual, Gay/MLM/Vinician, Genderfluid, Genderflux, Genderqueer, Gender questioning, Graysexual, Intersex, Lesbian, Maverique, Neutrois, Nonbinary, Omnisexual, Pangender, Pansexual, Polyamorous, Polysexual, Transgender, Trigender, Two Spirit, Progress Pride, Queer, Unlabeled.

I had to google half of those identities. I’m so sorry I did. All I can say is never go full omnisexual.

Wait. Did they say 40 different identities? But there are only 26 letters in the alphabet!

Not that it makes much difference. Don’t they realise the only identity that matters now is the T?

Twenty years ago, everyone was unique. Now everyone needs to belong to a group. It’s hilarious. For people who hate being labelled, they sure made up a lot of labels!

I was going to finish that last sentence by saying “but I digress”. However, I recently received correspondence from a reader in Europe who wrote:

“Dude, I love your stuff, but please find a more nuanced way to say ‘I digress’. It’s in nearly all of your articles.”

Anyway, I deviate, diverge and depart.

I know of 353 communities not represented in the new Microsoft Pride flag so, um, Microsoft is literally Hitler.

And not a single Ukrainian flag. Fascists.

Also, way to exclude the epileptic community, you haters.

Which part of the new flag represents women who need access to single-sex spaces, or does Microsoft not support them? Hmmm.

Despite the aforementioned shortcomings, I like the new design. It makes it appear as though all the colours are being pulled into a black hole — which would be a good start.

The Microsoft gay Pride flag is what you see when you travel at Woke speed:

Microsoft LGBT woke speed

While the new Pride flag — or, as I like to call it, the seizure flag — is certainly colourful, it’s going to be difficult for the Sydney Lord Mayor to have painted on pedestrian crossings.

The thing I love most about the new gay Pride flag is that you literally cannot tell whether it’s a joke or not.

This, you see, is why the Left cannot do memes. It’s because they are the meme.


Incidentally, Microsoft has also created a gay Pride controller for their X-box consoles.

Microsoft LGBT pride controller

A Microsoft spokesman said:

“The reality is that every gamer deserves the right to be seen and heard.”

Isn’t that why you use comms?

“Watch out for the zombie behind you! Also, I’m polysexual!”

No. Apparently, your rights as an alphabet person are somehow being violated if you’re playing X-Box without a controller that expresses your sexual proclivities.

“The goal here was to make the gaming world a more inclusive space and Pride was an opportunity to take a good step in that direction,” he said.

It’s a great point. I know I don’t feel like I’m included when playing video games unless the controller in my hands is a literal representation of my sexual orientation.

Of course, if Microsoft were serious they would have replaced the traditional controller’s A,X,Y,B buttons with L,B,G,T buttons.



Originally published at The James Macpherson Report.

Subscribe to his Substack here for daily witty commentary.


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  1. Leonie Robson 25 October 2022 at 9:31 am - Reply

    If it wasn’t so pathetically true, your post would make me laugh a lot.
    What a sick, perverse society we live in, and the greed and corruption of Gates’ legacy is thriving on it.
    Thanks James.

  2. Bev Genat 25 October 2022 at 1:25 pm - Reply

    Pride comes before a fall
    Your boast becomes a prophecy of a future failure. The higher you lift yourself up in pride, the harder you’ll fall in disgrace.
    Proverbs 16:18 TPT

    And our Heavenly Father is about to take HIS rainbow back!

  3. Ro 29 October 2022 at 3:23 am - Reply

    My, what a discordant flag they have! The better to turn out destabilized Marxist revolutionaries, my dear.

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