
Our Son We Were Told We Could Abort
After a 20-week scan revealed possible heart abnormalities and genetic concerns, medical staff twice offered to abort a Christian couple’s baby. Six weeks of fervent prayer later, the heart defect was gone — and their son is nearly ready to be born.
It happened twice. Both times, a genetic counsellor calmly told my wife and me, “I want you to be aware of all your options, including termination.” For months, those conversations have replayed in my mind, bringing back the initial emotions of shock, anger, and horror. Now, as my wife and I prepare to meet our son in a matter of weeks, his story is already a testament to God’s power and faithfulness.
Earlier this year, my wife Abby and I learned that we were expecting our second child. Despite having faced some unexpected challenges during labour and postpartum with our first child, we were thrilled by the news. Throughout the first trimester, the pregnancy progressed without any complications.
The 20-Week Scan
I accompanied Abby to her 20-week anatomy scan, where we planned to find out the sex of the baby together. Initially, everything seemed perfect. Abby and I stared in amazement as the baby came into view. We watched with delight as the little body moved, alternating between playing with their feet and sucking their thumb. A few minutes into the scan, the technician accidentally revealed the baby’s sex — another little boy! I recall leaning forward, watching the screen as I whispered, “Thank you, Father, for the gift of this child.”
As the scan progressed, the technician’s mood gradually changed. Although neither Abby nor I are medical professionals, it became clear that the technician was spending additional time hovering over the baby’s heart. As the ultrasound approached an hour in duration, both Abby and I sensed that something was wrong.
After about 90 minutes, the technician left the room, and Abby and I prayed, bracing ourselves for what the doctor might say. Eventually, the doctor came in and told us that it appeared our son had a double aortic arch, a serious heart condition, and other possible heart abnormalities, which would require surgery shortly after delivery. He also said there were two indicators suggesting the baby might have Down syndrome.
Still processing the news, we were led to a small office. A genetic counsellor soon joined us and asked if we understood what the doctor had said. We admitted that we did not fully comprehend everything. Patiently, the counsellor reviewed the doctor’s notes. She explained it was too early to know definitively what might be wrong with our baby’s heart, but that we could do an amniocentesis to find out if our child carried a genetic condition — or we could just make plans to end the pregnancy.
Abort Our Baby?
Abby and I were still grappling with the phrases “heart condition” and “genetic disorder” and did not immediately respond when the counsellor first mentioned abortion.
Once the gravity of the remark finally registered, I felt numb. We had just watched this little boy, our second son, play with his toes and respond to the ultrasound probe. Minutes earlier, we had cried tears of joy. And now someone was calmly mentioning abortion in reference to our child.
“Terminate the pregnancy?” I mulled the counsellor’s words in my mind. As I continued to sit in stunned silence, Abby’s voice began to shake as tears came to her eyes.
I came to myself and explained that abortion was not an option for us. We were not going to end our child’s life because he might have a genetic condition or physical abnormality.
The counsellor responded by noting that it was our decision and suggested that we wait six weeks to learn more about the baby’s heart. She also said we could do some blood work to confirm a genetic disorder. She then thanked us for our time and walked out.
Praying for Our Baby
I would like to say that my wife and I were subsequently model Christians in how we responded to the news. We were not. We both fretted over the various genetic conditions our son might have. Research suggested that if he had a double aortic arch, he would need surgery immediately upon birth.
But we prayed. And cried. And called out desperately to God. Every night, I placed my hand over my son and prayed for God to intervene. We prayed for healing and that God would be pleased to restore our son to full health.
Two weeks later, we received the results of the blood work. According to the results, our son did not have Down syndrome or any of the other major genetic conditions that were tested. We were thrilled. I sank to my knees and thanked the Lord for the healthy report. Now we could focus on the situation with the baby’s heart.
However, within an hour of the good news about the genetic testing, we met via Zoom with someone at the hospital who explained the results more fully to us. Once again, it was a genetic counsellor.
After reiterating that our son did not have a major genetic disorder, she reminded us that at 22 weeks, abortion was “still an option,” especially given the unknowns about baby’s heart condition.
Almost instantly, my wife and I experienced simultaneous emotions of shock and rage. Abby could not respond as emotion overwhelmed her. My heart raced, and I felt flushed. “You’ve just told us that our son is healthy, and you think we want to kill him,” I thought.
“Thank you, but that’s not an option for us,” I think I responded.
“Okay, well, he’s likely to grow up and live a typical, healthy life, and you have nothing to worry about,” the counsellor replied.
Abby, who had carried our son for nearly five months at this point, struggled to make it through the rest of the call. She motioned for me to answer the remaining questions, and I tried to conclude the appointment as quickly as possible.
Answers to Prayer
Four weeks later, at our 26-week appointment, we received encouraging news. Following the ultrasound, a doctor explained to us that with six additional weeks of development, the double aortic arch the cardiologist had suspected no longer appeared.
Instead, he has a right aortic arch, a rare condition that is less serious and does not require immediate medical intervention.
The doctor smiled and said, “Your son will not need immediate surgery when he is born and might not ever need it. It’s something we will just want to monitor as he grows.”
After walking with the Lord for close to three decades, I have experienced several instances of answered prayer.
It is difficult to imagine something surpassing that moment in the doctor’s office. For six weeks, every night, Abby and I had poured ourselves out before the Lord.
We had begged God to heal our son’s heart.
I do not think we will ever know exactly what took place in my wife’s womb between the 20-week ultrasound and the appointment at 26 weeks. But somehow, someway, God touched our little boy and healed him.
I do not think I will ever have adequate words to explain the joy and gratitude that washed over us in that moment.
I have always believed that God hears and can answer prayer. I also know that God is not obligated to answer any specific prayer, but I will never forget the gracious answer He provided to the prayers we offered over the course of those six anxious weeks.
Choose Life, Not Abortion
As Abby and I celebrated the wonderful news with our family and friends, I kept thinking about the genetic counsellors and their offers of abortion.
Before going to bed that night, I made my way over to my wife’s side of the bed. Kneeling just as I had over the previous six weeks and placing my hand on her stomach, I thanked God for the healthy prognosis.
But I also prayed for other couples who had received a heartbreaking diagnosis. I prayed for those who had, like us, been offered abortion. I prayed that they would choose life.
Our story so far has had a happy ending. Our little boy is likely to grow up and live a normal, healthy life. Although the news we ultimately received was good, I know that other couples in our situation have received different news.
My hope is that God gives families facing challenging medical situations grace and strength. My wife and I believe that God is the author of life and that every life, regardless of physical or mental ability, is made in God’s image and possesses inherent dignity and worth. A diagnosis does not diminish that.
Reflections on the Medical Industry and Abortion
But another lesson from our story is how quickly medical professionals were willing to offer us abortion.
In both instances, the counsellors acknowledged that there was much they did not know. In the first case, it was possible but not certain that our son had a heart defect. There were indicators of a genetic condition but no definitive evidence.
And yet, despite the many unknowns, abortion was offered immediately. And in the second case, the counsellor celebrated the blood work with us that ruled out genetic disorders and then mentioned abortion as one of our options. When we told her that we would continue the pregnancy, she then reminded us that our son was healthy.
God’s Faithfulness, and Advocating for Life
I am not sure why the Lord allowed our family to experience six weeks of unknowns related to our son’s health. However, what I do know is that it grew our faith and dependence on God.
I will forever be grateful for the healing work he accomplished in my son, and I look forward to one day telling him about how God has sustained him from the womb (Psalm 71:6).
Another result of this experience is my renewed resolve to work toward a culture that values all human life. In such a world, no one would offer a confused, grieving couple abortion minutes after learning about a potentially life-altering health condition. No one would celebrate the good news of a test result but quickly remind you that abortion was “still on the table.”
Unfortunately, a review of the laws in many of our states and the campaign pledges of many of our candidates for public office remind us that our culture devalues and degrades life in far too many ways.
I recently had the opportunity to tour the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camps outside of Krakow, Poland. I have always been interested in the battles of World War II and the larger-than-life figures like Winston Churchill who mobilised the free world to fight Nazi tyranny.
Nothing could have adequately prepared me to walk through a former gas chamber or see a room filled with children’s clothes that had been stripped from the backs of boys and girls before they were marched to their deaths.
Throughout the day, I kept asking myself how anyone, even in a fallen, Genesis 3 world, could carry out these atrocities against their fellow human beings. And then I was reminded that the Nazis were convinced that entire classes of people were subhuman.
In the fight against abortion, we are confronting the belief that a category of humans — pre-born children — are not full persons with moral standing. This dangerous, horrifying conviction fuels the abortion industry and its political supporters and leads well-meaning counsellors to suggest that aborting a healthy child could be “an option.”
I have spent nearly a decade challenging the falsehoods of the pro-abortion movement. I have written a book, presented dozens of pro-life lectures to thousands of people, and preached several sermons.
However, the moment when my wife and I were personally presented with abortion still left me reeling.
Although we were both horrified and unnerved, the experience has left us with an even stronger resolve to advocate for life and support families who face challenging medical circumstances.
One day, I assume my son will read these reflections, since they are the earliest part of his story. I will conclude with some words to him:
James, Lord willing, you will be with us in six weeks. Mama and I are so excited to see you and introduce you to the world. These past few months have been filled with excitement, surprise, and not-so-patient waiting on the part of your parents. I pray that you will grow up and never remember a time when you were not aware of your Heavenly Father’s love. He has already worked a miracle in you. Your life is already a testament to the goodness of God. As your father, my most fervent hope and prayer for you is that you love God and determine to follow Him. I also hope that you will be shaped by the conviction that everyone has God-given dignity and value and that you will embody a pro-life ethic in every area of your life. I love you, son, and I cannot wait to meet you.
___
If you or anyone you know needs support with an unplanned/crisis pregnancy or is hurting after a past abortion, please reach out to Pregnancy Help Australia: https://pregnancyhelpaustralia.org.au/
___
Republished with thanks to The Washington Stand. Originally titled, “The Son We Were Told We Could Terminate”. Image via Adobe.
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Thank you David for this heart warming story of faith and the goodness of God.
As I understand it, JAMES means Replacement.
You have Replaced the offer of death with the opportunity of the gift of life –
a future and a hope for James through faith in Jesus Christ.
I’m so glad that this worked out for you and for your family. I’m not pro-abortion. Most people aren’t. However, many of us, myself included, aren’t anti-abortion either. You outed yourself above where you stated that you weren’t a medical professional. That was mistake number one. Most people aren’t cheering on and celebrating abortion. Abortion is a medical procedure and is done when it’s absolutely necessary. It shouldn’t be used as a form of birth control. But, you also can’t tell people not to use condoms and other forms of birth control, then get mad at them when there is an unwanted pregnancy. This is a real you-can’t-have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too scenario. Moving on, yes, there are definitely people who have flippant and nonchalant attitudes toward the procedure, and that isn’t okay. But for the most part, women who choose to have abortions aren’t thrilled that it is a choice they have to make or endure. It can have serious long-term consequences, sometimes resulting in infertility. So, again, the strong majority of women are not just waking up and saying, “Gosh darn it, I think I’ll go to the clinic and have an abortion today!” It’s a very distressing situation to be in. And yes, you are Christian, but not everyone is. And here is where your second mistake enters the chat. You discussed the Concentration Camps. Many of my family members were killed there. My grandparents survived, which is how I am here today. The Holocaust was to eradicate the Jews, whose religion is Judaism. In Judaism, we often recite the words “L’Chaim,” which means “To Life.” We are all about celebrating and protecting life! However, for us, abortion is not a sin. The mother’s life and health comes first. In Judaism, life begins at birth. So, while I appreciate that it might not be something that you are comfortable with – and it’s certainly not something I would ever want to do – it is unfortunately not always avoidable. And moreover, it is never ever your right to decide what someone else does. If you’re going to make an argument about abortion, I wouldn’t try to persuade people not to do it by using the Holocaust – aka the genocide that claimed 6 million Jewish people for practicing Judaism – given that our religion has very different views about abortion and life. Further still, if you watch documentaries about the Holocaust and interviews with survivors, you will know how much they value(d) life because they did everything they could to survive! In fact, there were several woman who were pregnant and gave birth in the camps or on trains. Despite being weak and malnourished, those women fought to stay alive, give birth, and keep their babies alive. Thirdly, Christianity wouldn’t exist without our good friend, Jesus. It is a known fact that Jesus was Jewish and was a practicing Jew (some argue he may have even been a Rabbi). He literally died as Jesus Christ of Nazareth, King of the Jews. So, while people are free to be Christians and believe that Jesus was resurrected, Jews do not believe this – we only accept him as a member of the Tribe, but not as the Messiah. At the end of the day, none of us were there, so no one can actually prove it one way or the other. It comes down to what people choose to believe and put their faith in – and that’s okay! Further, in both the Old and New Testaments, Jesus never mentions abortion. People interpret certain passages and verses to fit their narrative – which is also okay, as long as it isn’t forced upon everyone, and is adopted on an individual basis. But what is mentioned is forgiveness! If someone were to have an abortion but was really upset about it and asked for forgiveness, it would be granted: In Christianity by Jesus via Confession; and in Judaism through Tashlich, which is done to repent for your sins on Yom Kippur (which happens to be today).
Religion doesn’t have a place in science, healthcare, policy, or law. Not everyone has the same beliefs, religion, and faith. Thus, it isn’t fair to impose something onto everyone; especially when this doesn’t impact everyone. Many people – I bet Christians, too – have had abortions. But because they don’t announce it to the world, no one is the wiser. And truthfully, that is how it should be. It is no one’s business if a woman has an abortion. A person is not good or bad because they chose to have an abortion, especially because it is a medical procedure and a difficult choice to make (*there might be a few cases where people are flippant about it and don’t actually need one for medical reasons, and then yes, I would say they suck). And, if you want to come at this again with a Christian perspective, then at the end of the day, a woman and her choice to have an abortion is between her and Jesus/God, not the Christian community.
Again, I am so happy that your family is doing well. And I am appalled that abortion seemed to be pushed on you. Was it the same person who advised you both times? Either way, it sounds like these people might need some sensitivity trauma! On the other hand, people in these fields can sometimes become desensitized because they are so used to witnessing so many traumas and bad outcomes. As a result, they compartmentalize and seem to lack empathy – it’s awful, but it’s a coping and survival mechanism. Another thing to consider could be mental health issues or personality disorders. People with certain personality types are drawn to certain professions. So, their nonchalant attitude to offering abortion as an option might just be this person being very fact-driven. And legally, I think you need to be presented with all of your options. If it were me, I would probably be very sensitive about offering it as an option, but it would be my duty to do so…because then if it weren’t offered, someone could sue.
Wishing you and your family good health and happiness! I know you mentioned that your little boy will have to be monitored – my hope is that he will remain healthy and won’t require any surgeries!
Free medical care: no cost to the State.
Praise be to God.
Bebe…Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee. Ps 139:13 says that God knit me together in my mothers womb it also says a person is fearfully and wonderfully made. Life at conception is in the Torah……Murder is murder Bebe…..dosen’t matter what religion you call yourself or if someone wants to sue you. Prayers for you.
My story: at 30 weeks I was encouraged to have an amniocentesis since I was 45 years old! High chance of downs syndrome at my age…..I declined….as there is a risk of starting labour with the test. My Sonshine has been a joy to me. Public figure, TV, newspaper, international gold medalist with his trumpet…so thankful….God is good. He is 28 now.
Bebe…..Killing another human being is murder….dosen’t matter your ethnicity or religion or if someone might sue you if you don;t?!?! Life begins at conception…check out the Torah on that. Jer 1:5 “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee….: Ps 139:13 “God knit me together in my mothers womb” and I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” etc. Praying for you.
My story. Pregnant at 45. Dr suggested an amniocentesis to check for Downs syndrome. Since it may trigger labour I declined. My Sonshine has been a joy to me for the last 28 years. A musician…has been on TV, in the newspapers, and is an international gold medalist with his trumpet….playing weekly at church now. God is faithful.